Is this thing on?
It’s been over a week since my last post, and for as many excuses as I could legitimately give for my absence, the one I’d like to actually go into is one that I’ve been reluctant to admit since putting it out there makes it real.
I’ve been writing.
I know that’s about as anti-climactic as this post, but I’m not talking about blog posts or the long-awaited sequel to my B2K fanfiction. I mean an actual, for real deal-Holyfield fictional work.
Years ago, I had come up with a vague concept for a graphic novel. Yes, I was going to create my own graphic novel. Let’s just add that to the “wishful thinking” bin along with me thinking I could blog literally every day without any burn out. But as my ambitions as an amateur graphic novel author/artist dwindled, the concept never strayed far from my mind. One afternoon, I found myself talking into the camera of my phone, recording myself as I crafted this entire story from start to finish. I replayed the video hours later, jotting down notes, proud that I had created what could be considered some semblance of a story.
But with work, other artistic projects and my own admitted self-doubt about tackling the idea of working on a complete story, the concept collected digital dust as it sat in the ‘Videos’ folder on my phone. And as I found myself settling into an entirely new coast and struggling for a creative outlet while also juggling a growing workload, bills and my unending desire for a cat, the concept crept back into my mind. I scoured old folders in my computer for bits of story I had written, and before I knew it, I was hammering away at my keyboard.
I’ll admit I surprised myself when I completed an actual chapter. Even more so when I read it back over and it made sense. I had gotten the writing bug hard, and I was soon consumed with building this world that had lived so dormantly in my mind for so long. I’ve been chipping away at that world ever since, creating characters, building lore and writing more than I have in years.
So, for as great albeit brief run as I had with the daily posts, I’ve found the creative outlet I so desperately needed and a newfound commitment to a story that has stayed with me for so long, aching to be told. I mean, I can’t truly call myself a nerd without taking a crack at my own fantasy story. I’m not looking to top a bestseller list, or have my work adorn coffee tables around the country. But if just one person, even one, enjoys one of my stories, then I’ve done all I’ve wanted to do. I want women, especially young women and especially women of color, to not feel pigeonholed to a certain standard. To dream bigger and to embrace the weird. The fantastical. The things they’ve been told aren’t for them.
As I’m over here getting my George R.R. Martin on and sequestering myself to my keyboard, I’ll still be uploading regular to semi-regular blog posts. Some of my favorite shows are finally coming back in the next few months, and in lieu of embarrassing myself with videos on Youtube, I’d love to work on weekly written reviews. And as I navigate my way through Los Angeles, I’d love to share new restaurants, experiences and the overall musings of an awkward artist in the land of People Way Cooler Than Me. I’ll also be working to revamp the blog and the website overall, so all I can say is that if you’ve stuck with me for this long, stay tuned.